Having been inspired by Mike Machnik's amusing tournaments (The Pope John Paul
II Tournament and The General Patton Memorial Tournament), I'll submit the
following:
 
* The Second Banana Tournament -  This is open to all state university teams
that list their city to indicate their location at a "secondary" campus.
Number 1 seed: UMass-Lowell (Go Chiefs!). Number 2 seed: Minnesota-Duluth.
Number 3 and 4 seeds: Alaska- Fairbanks and Alaska-Anchorage (I'm not sure
which is considered the "primary" campus there so I'm allowing both entry
in my role as Tournament Dictator).
 
Potential expansion of the tournament would add Illinois-Chicago (if there is
some other Illinois team at another campus - and if not, why the Chicago
designation?) and all the Michigan teams that aren't UMichigan itself: Michigan
State, Western Michigan,...   First puck to be dropped by Ed McMahon.  Seated
in the stands would be Al Gore and Hillary.  Note that because this is Second
Banana but definitely NOT Second Rate, we would not invite the following second
rate individuals: Peter "I'd Sell My Soul To The Highest Bidder" Pocklington,
Gil "Scandal? What Scandal?" Stein, John "I'd Rather Not Go to a Game" Ziegler,
almost any NC$$ official, and (my own LEAST favorite) any parent who pays
their kid to score goals.
 
Hey, no flames please.  THis is all in good fun and no disrepect is intended
for any of the teams.  In fact, UMass-Lowell is my team (I'm still bummed out
I missed Midnight Madness) and I'm convinced they'll show the college hockey
world that we-was-robbed last year when we didn't get an NCAA invite after
finishing third in Hockey East (yeah, that's the conference that had the
NCAA Champs - congrats to the Black Bears - and semifinalist Boston University,
so all in all a pretty tough conference to ONLY GET TWO REPS IN THE TOURNEY!).
 
But after I got cranky about the Guvnuh's Cup, questioning why UMass-Lowell
should be left out in the cold, I mellowed out a bit (A BIT, I said, "mellow"
is not a word people usually associate with me) and accepted that Lowell was
not the primary campus and who cared anyways since Bruce Crowder and staff will
continue to make UMass-Lowell the best UMass team regardless of whether the
most students are.
 
Sorry for the length.  My father was a minister so getting long-winded is in
my genes.
 
****************************************************************
* Dave Hendrickson                   [log in to unmask] *
*             A Hockey Get-A-Lifer and Proud Of It             *
* GO BROONS!!!      Go Red Wings!      Anyone but the Rangers. *
* GO UMASS-LOWELL!!!       Go Maine!!            Go BU!        *
* Do I like too many teams?  Hey, sue me.  I just love hockey. *
* ------------------------------------------------------------ *
* Although I can't remember ever having an original thought,   *
* and am certainly parroting someone who actually has a brain, *
* these opinions are mine, not Hewlett-Packard's.              *
****************************************************************