Being born in Hibbing, I suppose that I can join the attack. :-)
As long as we are at it, let's make it a Minnesota State Law.
 
Whereas Minnesota has the only legally qualified hockey players,
whereas Minnesota pays tax dollars directly for college hockey,
whereas only Minnesota is so forward thinking as to prevent external
contamination of hockey and whereas all other games outside of Minnesota
called "hockey" are basically flawed by non-Minnesotan contamination,
 
Be it public law that
 
   (1) Minnesota teams shall play no team except other Minnesota teams.
       Special consideration will be given to underpriveleged teams
       which are from communitites not located next to a body of water or
       do not have a hockey player at each street corner.
 
   (2) Minnesota teams shall recruit no players not born, raised
       and schooled in Minnesota. Any player who has been outside of
       Minnesota must be able demonstrate that they call catch walleye
       pike using nothing by a willow stick and hay bailing twine, bring
       down deer with a pellet gun and a flashlight, sharpen their skates
       by running the blade across their teeth and that they need their
       sister or mother in order to tie the knots necessary to keep their
       clothes on.
 
   (3) Minnesota commentators shall state nary a good thing about
       another foreign team. Any violation of this provision shall result
       an immediate missionary work to Madison, Wisconsin, to teach the gospel
       of Minnesotan hockey to the heathen for a period not to exceed
       two years.
 
   (4) No hockey programs shall be recognized except those existing
       fully within the State of Minnesota.
 
   (5) It shall be always stated that hockey was created, invented and
       kept pure wholly within Minnesota. (The sport to the north of
       the God's country of Minnesota referred to indescriminantly as
       "hockey" is something akin to ice dancing by savages for the
       purpose of warmth. it has no rules, no skill and no Minnesotans.)
 
   (6) All other claims to hockey, hockey ability, and/or hockey
       programs will be considered fraudulent and treated as such.
       Any Minnesotan calling the abomination conducted external to
       Minnesota "hockey" shall be incarcerated in Florida for a period
       of not more than six months beginning in October and ending in
       April.
 
   (7) Any referee or linesman calling a penalty on a Minnesota team
       will be made to attend Viking Valhalla meetings. No Minnesotan
       is taught to slash, high stick, cross check, interfere or rough
       another player. Since these skills are not taught, they must
       be imported from Maine, Massachussets, Michigan, Wisconsin or
       Canada. These foreigners do not play hockey and are not
       allowed within Minnesota; therefore, no referee can call these
       penalties on any player from a Minnesota team.
 
   (8) Players names ending in borg, ein, korn, sen, son or stad will
       be given an extra year hockey scholarship. This will be considered
       necessary to maintain the high academic standards of schools
       granting such scholarships.
 
   (9) Minnesotans shall be taught that the difference between Woofer's
       and Wooger's is that Wooger's win.
 
Be it enacted that the above law shall take place immediately.
 
This should stir the pot sufficiently well that hockey-l mail boxes all over
the world will never be empty! :-)
 
Walt Olson
Michigan Tech