OK, OK, I give up. It isn't about college hockey, by there isn't enough space on the to: and cc: lines to forward this to the billions of people who requested it. For your viewing pleasure, the wit and wisdom of Michael Eisner's marketing department, or "Corporate Mentality Idiocy - No Known Cure". |> Early last month, I wrote a letter to Disney about the Mighty Ducks. |> |> Well, folks, I got an answer from Michael Eisner himself in today's |> post...wouldn't you believe it? Just thought I'd share it with |> y'all... |> |> (First, my letter to him.) |> |> ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ |> 4 February 1993 |> |> Mr. Michael Eisner |> Walt Disney Company |> 500 S Buena Vista St |> Burbank, CA 95121-0312 |> |> Dear Mr. Eisner -- |> |> As a devoted hockey fan, I am greatly perturbed by your choice for the Anaheim |> club name, as well as the publicity you have been using. |> |> To name a professional hockey team after a movie about a bunch of mediocre kids |> makes the great and venerable game of hockey look completely foolish. If I |> were a potential new hockey fan, I would be laughing too hard at a name like |> "The Mighty Ducks" to actually sit down and watch the game. If I were a player |> who was drafted to the team, I'd hang up my skates before playing for such a |> ludicrously-named team. |> |> And as far as your commercials go: I realize how successful Disney publicity |> has been with your theme parks and such, but please, stop! You're turning the |> NHL into a farce. It looks more like Ice Follies than a serious sport. |> |> About starting the tradition of bringing duck calls to games -- in order for |> things like that to be true traditions, they have to be started by the fans. |> Rangers fans don't make fun of Denis Potvin because Neil Smith asked us to. |> It's something that started spontaneously and cannot be mandated. |> |> Please, please, please -- choose a serious name for the team, and stop |> treating it like it's the newest attraction at Epcot Centre. You may be |> delighting a few little kids, but you're alienating and angering the current |> hockey fan populace. |> |> |> Yours truly, |> |> |> |> Ali Lemer. |> [address deleted] |> |> P.S. I've heard that you said that the name has proven quite popular with |> women and children. Which ones? Your family? I'm female and I can't stand the |> name, and neither can any of the other female hockey fans that I asked. |> ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |> |> (Now, Eisner's letter to me.) |> |> ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |> March 24, 1993 |> |> Ms. Ali Lemer |> [address deleted] |> |> Dear Ms. Lemer, |> |> Judging by the mail I am receiving, everone is excited about The |> Mighty Ducks. I am glad that you are too. |> |> In your letter you raise the issue of names and I want to address it. |> |> In a March 3 Los Angeles Times story, Steve Herz, markting director |> for Athletes & Action, a New York company whose client list includes |> the U.S. hockey team that won the 1980 Olympic gold medal, says: |> "Disney is marketing hockey as family entertainment, and it's never |> been done that way before...They hope to fill the stadium with lots of |> kids and their parents." ( Probably with those little clapping things. I can hardly wait. - ed. ) |> |> We do want to expand the traditional hockey audience. And we think we |> can best achieve this by bringing all of the fun and entertainment |> that is Disney to the ice. Tieing [sic] the team name to one of last |> year's most popular movies is a key move. |> |> At the same time, we have our sights set on the Stanley Cup. All of us |> who are involved in the hockey franchise are competitive by nature. We |> will put a competitive team on the ice. |> |> According to the Times again, Kings head coach Barry Melrose makes a |> great case for naming the arena The Pond in Anaheim. "That's how all |> of us in Canada grew up playing hockey, on a frozen pond," he is |> quoted as saying. "It's traditional. It's Rockwellian." [N.B. He |> wouldn't by any chance mean Rockwell, author of the forgettable 1980s |> hit, "Someone's Watching Me", would he? -- Ali.] |> |> As you read this, our creative team is devloping logos, colors and |> mascots for the team. Their mission is to convey hockey as well as |> Disney. When you see them and, more importantly, when you see the team |> play, I think you'll be proud to be a Mighty Ducks fan. |> |> Thank you for writing. |> |> Sincerely, |> |> |> Michael Eisner |> |> MDE:jm |> ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |> |> Well, I think Eisner actually signed it, 'cause the ink smudged under |> my finger, and there's no "pp" (the initials for "per proxy", what a |> secretary puts when signing the boss' signature), but I'm really not |> impressed with a form letter that barely takes into account anything |> my original letter said. |> |> I think my MOTHER probably knows more about hockey than Eisner does |> (and it took me a good 15 minutes to explain offsides to HER) |> ...wait'll he wants an expansion team in some other sports, too. |> The next baseball team will be, of course, the Bad News Bears, and if |> he gets a football team, well, who knows? He'll think of something |> aptly atrocious. |> |> Did anyone else write to Eisner/Disney and get a form letter back? |> If so, tell us about it... |> |> |> |> -- Ali. |> -- |> Ali Procrastination Lemer || "But not a real green || Are you ILLITERATE? |> Columbia University (NYC) || dress, that's cruel." || Write for Free Help! |> [log in to unmask] || -- Barenaked Ladies || -- some guy's .sig |> **** GO RANGERS! **** POTVIN SUCKS! **** "It's a great day for hockey." **** ------- End of Forwarded Message Anyway, there you have it folks. (And Rangers fans should thank Dennis Potvin for bringing decent hockey to their pathetic sewer a few times a year.) Greg Let's Go Red! (Let's Go Islanders!)