What's all this fuss about hockey players wearing full shields or half
shields?
 
Women's NCAA hockey is a fairly new sport, and I'm surprised that the big
debate is about what kind of shields players should be wearing! When I was
a girl, my mother encouraged me to wear a half shield, just so a box full
of them would last twice as long. So, I tried to obey Mum and tear each
shield in half before I put it on. But, my heavens, I got such terrible
stains in my bloomers, that I would have to spend entire Saturday
afternoons trying to scrub them clean! And all of the other girls would
laugh at me, because they could afford to wear full shields. Oh, I saw
red, both literally and figuratively!
 
What? Shields in *men's* hockey? Well, that's different! Why should men
wear shields at all? They don't have to worry about that certain monthly
visitor! Maybe when they mature and play in those alumni or old-timer
games, they may have to strap on Depends, but they certainly don't need
shields! For heaven's sake, they could all be on the Viagra and no one
would know because of their breezers! I just don't understand the fuss
about... what? Oh my! *Face* shields? Well, that's *very* different!
 
Never mind...
 
 
-Emily Litella ([log in to unmask])
 
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