Well, due to the great response I got last year, I now present you with the
second annual so-called awards of the Phinal Phour and Hockey-L. Even though
I didn't offend anyone last year, the way things have gone this year, I feel
I need to place a warning label on this year's awards. The following is meant
for the consumption of those who have a sense of humor only. If you do not,
and proceed to read it, I offer no apologies for its contents. Also, if a
reference does not make sense, you may need to dig up last year's awards from
the archives. Now, in no particular order:
THE BEST T-SHIRT AWARD: Goes to those BU fans who were wearing a shirt that
said, "I went to BC on a hockey scholarship, and all I got was this lousy
shirt."
THE HIRSCHFELD AWARD: Goes to Carol White for her great design of this
year's version of the official Hockey-L button. It had not one, but two
"SIEVE" words well hidden inside the goaltender in the grand style of
Hirschfeld placing "NINA"'s in his drawings.
THE OFFICIAL SIEVE CHANT AWARD: Goes to our travel partner, Chris Lerch.
While driving to Providence, he was playing EA Hockey on his laptop. He
chose the best team statistically of that year's version, the Detroit Red
Wings, and gave the computer the worst team, the Ottawa Senators. Chris
lost, 10-2. Since it exceeded all "official" rules of Hockey-L for
sieving, we have no choice: "SIEVE! SIEVE! SIEVE!"
THE LIGHTBULB JUST WENT ON AWARD: Goes to the Maine fans. During the
first period of the first game, fans of both the UM teams kept chanting,
"Go Blue!" Well, it wasn't until the second period that Maine fans
finally realized that using that cheer meant rooting on your opponent just
as much as it meant rooting on your team, so they changed to the "Let's Go
Maine!" chants. The Michigan fans never did figure this out.
THE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE AWARD: Goes to the friendly plainclothes police
officer who offered the four of us a ride to the Arcade shopping center
when it was obvious to him that we were looking quite lost. Sure gave me
a much better outlook of the Providence police than what I got from the
St. Paul police last year.
THE HIGH SHRILL AWARD: Goes to our waitress in Challengers. This was her
first day on the job, and she was all excited to gee, just help us with
anything, and golly, is there anything else we need, and oh, boy, I can
get that for you. Perhaps the worst part was that Chris Lerch was able
to imitate her high pitched excitable voice so well. Scary. Very, very
scary.
THE PHILOSOPHY AWARD: Goes to those of us who pondered the many
questions of life during the first semifinal marathon affair such as
"does the shot total on the scoreboard go to 3 digits?", "does the period
designation on the scoreboard go to 2 digits?", "how much time does this
place need to clear everyone out before the second game?", and "just what
is Ron Correia going to do with the Hockey-L dinner reservations when
nobody has any time to go?" Fortunately, these question didn't need to be
answered -- barely.
THE QUOTE OF THE WEEKEND AWARD: For the second consecutive year, this
award goes to none other than our esteemed Mike Machnick. After Michigan
scored their second goal to take the early 2-0 lead and outplaying Maine,
Mike said, "this game is over."
THE FOOT IN THE MOUTH AWARD: Goes to Heather Machnik (no wonder they
make a perfect couple). In the hotel lobby of the Omni Biltmore while
noticing various wedding reception attendees, attempted to get the point
across that this was a wedding for older, senior adults, "you know, for
adults even older than Dave [Hendrickson]." So, Dave, just how old are you?
THE REMIND US WHAT HOCKEY-L IS ALL ABOUT AWARD: Goes to Karen Ambrose.
When she told me how she first heard of this list through a friend of
theirs, they finally went out and got all the necessary equipment to be
able to access it. She told me how it is such a wonderful source of
information to keep up with everything since, "this is such a great sport!"
Yes, indeed it is a great sport, and this list is a great source of info
for that great sport. It is not, as some people occasionally think, a
forum to determine whether the fans of Wisconsin are capable of walking
without scrapping their knuckles.
THE CLASS ACT AWARD: Goes to whoever was responsible for making sure that
J.P. McKersie was given a championship watch during the postgame on-ice
awards ceremony.
THE HOCKEY-L HOCKEY-L'ER AWARD: Goes to Wayne Smith's new baby, Ben.
When he heard the discussion start heading towards the sieving subject,
the 3-month old child starting screaming his head off. (Well, that isn't
completely accurate. I did take some poetic license. But, heh, the kid
was cute -- I had to give him something.)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Russell Jaslow |Official Contact - Potsdam College Hockey|My employer
Eastman Kodak Company | Potsdam Bears - 1981 and 1986 NCAA Div. |has nothing
Rochester, New York | III National Basketball Champions and |to do with
[log in to unmask] winners of 60 consecutive games! |my drivel.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
