Thought you hockey-l'ers might enjoy this....
"
Hockey's a better game, eh?
Why the heck watch a game played by oversized mutants who can't fit through
most doorways when you can watch a game played by guys whose biggest flaw is
that they say `out' like `oot' and can't complete a sentence without saying
`eh'?
College hockey wrapped up its season Saturday when Lake Superior State beat
Wisconsin 5-3 in Albany, N.Y. College hoops finally ended after a month of
inanity Monday night when Duke beat U-M 71-51 in a ho-hum game in Minneapolis.
Despite its numerically superior following, hoops doesn't hold a candle to
hockey and her's why:
Hockey requires the highest level of hand-to-eye coordination and greater
speed and strength. Anyone can pick up a basketball and shoot it. Hockey
requires skates, skill and stamina. There are no sissy players on the ice once
the game starts, and there are no players exempt from checks.
Hockey is played by men who aren't afraid to take a few hits while playing the
game. But let the pretty boys like Matt Steigengna or Christian Laettner so
much as feel a dirty look from another player and they cry foul to high heaven.
Which leads to the point in hockey, penalties mean something. Ever seen a
hoops game played 5-on-4, or better yet, 5-on-3? Of course not. Hockey often
requires three players to defend their zone while five opposition players do
their best to shoot the puck in the net. ( (Just ask the Wisconsin Badgers
about this, who most of the second period in Saturday's title game
shorthanded).
Hockey players are more relaxed about fans seeing them after games. After
hoop games, fans have to wait outside to get autographs. In Munn arena, fans
line up outside the hallway leading to the locker room and get all the
autographs and pictures taken with players that they want, whether the team has
won or lost.
Hockey is more exciting, and it doesn't take half an hour for players to play
the last two minutes of the game. In basketball, everyone and their mother
calls a timeout with a minute left to play, leaving viewers enough time to
finish the last half of "War and Peace".
Hockey is played by guys who fight while on the ice, but once the game is over
everyone drinks together. After being eliminated from the playoffs by the
Spartans in the first round, the Ferris State players had no qualms about going
out to the local watering holes to quaff some beer and talk about scoring. In
fact, everyone meets after games to drink, from coaches to commissioners to
writers.
Hockey players have the class to wish each other luck, even if they're
longtime rivals. After the Central Collegiate Hockey championship semifinal at
Joe Louis Arena March 21, MSU senior Mike Gilmore wished Lake Superior State
goalie Darrin Madeley the best of luck for the next day's title game. And this
came right after LSSU had beaten Gilmore's team to diminish MSU's chances of
getting a seed to play in the West regionals in Detroit instead of the East
regionals in Providence, R.I.
And last but not least, hockey is better than hoops because of the announcers.
At the professional level, Don Cherry outdoes every other commentator with his
"Coaches' Corner." The day has not dawned that "Grapes" is afraid to speak his
mind, whether this includes insulting every Scandinavian dead or alive. Dick
Vitale's claim to fame is how loudly he can get his puny point accross. Jim
Valvano is a plastic doll licensed by Mattel Toys. At the pro level, Doug
Collins can't make up his mind about what to say and Dick Stockton's voice puts
more people to sleep than the sandman.
Besides, how can you not love a sport where a player can say, "I was just
worried about putting some lumber in my shot eh?"
"
-Helene Burr on hockey in
The State News
______________
MSU's independent voice
(Vol. 87 No 56 4/9/92 page 14)
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