>Top 10 reasons why University of Maine sophomore hockey star Paul Kariya
>should stay at Maine rather than sign a bazillion-dollar NHL contract
>with the Anaheim Mighty Ducks:
 
From the home office in Salem, NH:
 
20. Flannel worn Down East is in style now.
 
19. Tough to beat those chocolate chip brownies at Alfond.
 
18. Could suffer permanent hearing loss from blaring of 20,000 kazoos
    at the Pond.
 
17. Shawn Walsh more charismatic than Michael Eisner.
 
16. No trips to Alaska in NHL.
 
15. Anaheim's nickname rhymes with more four letter words than Maine's.
 
14. Bananas the Bear could kick the you-know-what out of Scrooge or
    whatever that duck is called.
 
13. "D...U...C...K...S....GOOOOO DUCKS!" just doesn't cut it.
 
12. Getting anointed with fairy dust by Tinker Bell after scoring a
    goal is pretty wimpy for a hockey player.
 
11. Black Bears' brass knows more about hockey than Ducks' brass.
 
(copyright 1993 Mike Machnik)
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Mike Machnik                                           [log in to unmask]
Cabletron Systems, Inc.                                   *HMN* 11/13/93
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