I wrote this after last year's West Regional games in Van Andle Arena in
Grand Rapids.  A friend of mine suggested I post it, but i was worried
that i would make people angry (some people take stuff way to serious on
this thing).  Anyways, here is my story about my first trip to the NCAA
tourney.  Please, no hate mail.  This is just for fun. 
 
Van Andle Arena trip by Derek D. Gordon (c) 1996 (as if someone cares)
 
 
        With tickets in our hands, hockey on our minds, and visions of national
glory, we set off for Van Andel arena in the heart of Grand Rapids,
Michigan.  We set sail from East Lansing at 11:00am to ensure us enough
time see all of the first game and be settled for   the second.  This
was my first NCAA regional, my first trip to Grand Rapids in three
years, and my first chance to see six outstanding hockey teams battle it
out.  The stage was set.
 
Pre-game show:  The Rabid Squirrel
 
I have been to a lot of hockey games in my young life.  Us five guys
combined probably has been to over a thousand.  Bear in mind we had
never seen any teams out of the East (East Regionals) play unless they
were on television, so when we saw Minnesota's Gopher take slap shots
between periods, we were impressed.  But prior to the first game, we saw
a creature never seen to Michigander's eyes: Cornell's Rabid Squirrel. 
When this "creature" skated onto the ice, we looked at each other and
pondered.  
        "Well, what is Cornell's mascot?" I asked.
        We took out the program and looked.
        "Says here, 'Big Red'."
        "Big Red what??"
        "Apparently a Big Red skater with a dead animal head covering his own."
        We were stumped.  We thought of several different creatures it could
be.  At first I asked if it was Wisconsin's Badger, but that wouldn't
make any sense.  Was is a Wolverine?  A Bear?  A beaver?  But all it did
was skate in a circle.  We figured Cornell didn't want their mascot
being called "The Big Red Beaver".  What I suggested made the most sense
to me.  It was a Rabid Squirrel.  For you folks not from around here:
DON'T EVER SCREW WITH A RABID SQUIRREL.  That was it.  Cornell had a
dangerous rabid squirrel as their feared mascot.  Matt thought someone
cut the head off a Bear Rug and made some kid were it.  Sort of a last
minute "we need to match Minnesota's Slap Shot Gopher!".  
        In between each period this "creature" from Ithaca New York took to the
ice and skated.  He didn't whiz any slap  shots like the huge Gopher, he
didn't even wave his hands in the air…he just skated.  I mean, it was a
good skater, as so far as Rabid Squirrels go, but he just didn't have
the Gopher magic we were yearning for.  One time he skated to the end of
the ice and did a hand-stand on the top of the net.  That was
impressive.  Another time he skated out with a beach ball and a hockey
stick, and jumped over the ball laying on the blue line.  I was
impressed with that as well, but some of my buddies were at this point
becoming bitter toward the mysteries of the Rabid Squirrel.  I guess
they could not accept the fact that there were certain things people
would never figure out.  This mystery surrounded us, encompassed us.  We
needed to know.
        It wasn't until the second intermission of the third game that another
fan stood up and yelled "What ARE you?  What rodent to you represent??" 
I felt so much better that another fan had the guts to ask.  But,
despite a crowd of anticipating fans, it just kept skating.  Sources
close to the organization claim it was a Bear.  But I don't know.  If it
was a bear, it was somebody's sick idea of what a bear is supposed to
look like.  You ever see a deer head mounted on the wall and figure that
the one you were looking was the taxidermist's  first one?  Or that
maybe he called it "the practice deer"?   Well, I wonder if the same
applied in this case.  Being only a head that made up the "bear" part,
it was really tough to tell and left a lot or room for speculation.
        What ever animal the Rabid Squirrel was, it was fun to watch skate
around the zamboni and screw with the kid trying to get the net back on
track.  You would think that an ivy league school with the resources of
Cornell would have a little better idea of what a mascot would look
like.  He looked like one of those cheap costumes car wash places get to
have some guy stand on the corner holding a "Car Wash - with glowwax
(tm) technology" sign for every passing car to see.  Perhaps next year
when we witness Cornell in the NCAA tourney, we will know the answer.
	
 
The End...
 
don't sue me.
 
Derek D. Gordon
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