In The Spirit Of;
        Charlie "Eye Of The Tigers" Shub...
 
Inspired By:
        That Special Breed Of Gopher Hockey Fan Who Woof
        Relentlessly To Keep Minnesota Hockey For Minnesotans...
 
A New Conference Ranking System:
        Guaranteed To Keep Our Sport _Pure_...
 
The Points-Per-Conference-Game-Per-Non-Local-Athlete Rating !!!
        (That's TPPCGPNLAR, say it with me now...)
 
Simply divide your favorite team's points-per-conferance-game by the
number of non-local members of that team (inclusion of coaches,
trainers and towel boys optional).  As the number of non-local
players approaches zero, your team's TPPCGPNLAR approaches infinity!!!
Yes!  Even the team that suffers from, shall we say, non-optimal
victory attainment can stroll into the NC$$ playoffs by simply
weeding those "outsiders" from their midst.
 
I know that there may be protests regarding the vast head start that
the University of Minnesota has on the rest of all the "un-enlightened"
institutions.  Well, I say that's all the more reason to lobby your
local A.D. to adopt a "home brew" policy, and the sooner the better!
Don't delay!  Call them today!
 
After all, there may only be 300 fans in the stands to watch your
team in the Finals, but some of 'em will be wearing *Your Team's
Colors* !!
 
*** Coming Soon To A Hockey Discussion List Near You ***
 
And now back to your regularly scheduled mail...
 
[ Of course, all of the above is :) ]
 
-----
Steve Manning
Milwaukee, WI
Go Badgers!