From the Home Office in Cape Elizabeth, Maine:
The Top 10 Reasons Why Thomas Memorial Library is Short on Delivery Bags of
10.) We've turned our bags into giant potpourri sachets filled with
soothing sandalwood, calming chamomile, and lovely lavender for those long,
9.) Too busy musing about Proust on the chesterfield to realize that we'd
8.) 54 G's cash money ain't gonna cart itself home at night, baby.
7.) Though frightfully inorganic, we've found that delivery bags make great
yoga mats during our mid-morning Shavasana.
6.) Whilst gently sprinkling rose water throughout the building,
accidentally spilled some on the bag supply.
5.) Gotta use something to light these fine big cigars we're always puffing
4.) Instead of monitoring our supply of bags, spent all our time trying to
get just the right mix of harp, pan flute, and that one Bobby McFerrin song
for our "On Hold" music.
3.) Were going to request some on MELIBs just as soon as we finished
quietly cherishing Evelyn Waugh's delightful wit.
2.) Had to shred a few and stuff the fabric in our ears because the guy
with the drill press next door just won't shut up.
1.) Noticed that we were running low weeks ago, but frankly didn't get too
stressed about it.
We would greatly appreciate any bags you'd be willing to spare! Thanks ever
so much, and enjoy your weeks!
Andrew J. Ryer
Thomas Memorial Library
6 Scott Dyer Rd.
Cape Elizabeth, ME 04107
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