What's all this fuss about Indy Rutks being nominated for Most Valuable
Hockey-L Participant? Why, I think he's a few stamps shy of a winning Bingo
card, if you know what I mean! I know for a fact that he hasn't voluntarily
set foot in a church for years, and he spends his free time watching
professional wrestling, guzzling Captain Morgan rum & Coca-Colas, and
downloading pictures of less-than-virtuous women from the Internet! Why, I
don't think he has contributed anything worthy of note at all during the
past season!
 
And who in Heaven's name would nominate such a drunken lecher? Why not
nominate someone like that nice young woman who puts her heart and soul
into preventing young people from being bonked in the head? I just don't
understand how that Rutks fellow could be considered valuable in the least.
And I don't... I... well... hello? Isn't anyone going to stop and correct
me?... What?!?!? That Rutks fellow really *did* get nominated?!?! Oh my, I
finally got one right... Well, since I'm on a roll...
 
What's all this fuss about Viagra in the NCAA hockey tournament...
 
-Emily Litella
 
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