For those of you who happen (or don't happen) to read the nation's largest
newspaper (though someone colud claim that it's the Wall Street Journal) the
USA Today (nicknamed McPaper by a friend of mine in Tennessee because you
got it fast but it tasted like s--t) usually runs a small article on Fridays
devoted to college hockey during the season (I've never seen them give conf.
standings or scores).  This week, however, they've run two articles on the
front page of the sports section (the little "Notes" column on the left-hand
side) and one today on pg. 4C with the NHL.  Are the articles about the im-
pending playoffs?  No.  Are the articles about the recently completed regular
season?  No.  What are they about?  MAINE SUING HOCKEY EAST!!!!!  Boy, I tell
ya, today I'm damn proud to be a college hockey fan!
 
G. M. Finniss
Michigan State University
WVU '87, UTenn (women's SEC champs again [what a shocker]) '92, MSU who the
hell knows when?
TA UNIONS STILL SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
P. S.  In the "Even Dumber than the Last One" category, the city of Lansing is
        expanding their gun buy-back program.  Now, to target teenagers, the
        city, in cooperation with a local sporting goods outfit, will give a
        $50 gift certificate towards the purchase of a Starter jacket to anyone
        turning in a gun.  I think we should really start giving equal-value
        gifts in these programs.  Hence the following proposal:
 
                Weapon                                  Gift
              Handgun                           Starter Jacket
              Rifle                             Complete Wardrobe
              Sub-Machine Gun                   Final Four Tickets
              Stinger Missile                   1994 Corvette
              Abrams Tank                       $125,000 home
              N. Korean Atom Bomb               Ownership of the nearest mall