What's all this I hear about badgers chanting "STEVE"? I'm quite the nature
lover, but I've never heard any of God's furry little creatures say
anything, let alone chanting somebody's name! I did see a commercial on the
television, in which 3 bullfrogs were saying "BUD-WISE-ER",but I thought
that was just some of that Hollywood magic.
 
Why, if animals are now starting to communicate with human beings, it
opens up a whole new world of possibilities. Teeny tiny goldfish will be
able to tell children "Please don't feed me too much food, or I'll die!".
Watchdogs won't just bark at burglars, they'll say "Don't you dare come
in here, or I'll bite you in the seat of your pants!". Oh, and what
about those poor little earthworms who get trapped on sidewalks and
driveways after a heavy rain? They'll be able to cry out to us for help,
so that we can put them back on the lawn before the birdies come eat
them. But then, the birds will yell at us "Hey, you human! Mind your own
beeswax! You're upsetting the balance of nature!". Then, they'll start
attacking *us*, just like in that Hitchcock movie! You know, I don't
think I like these chanting badgers, either! And who is this "Steve"? I
think he must be some kind of mad scientist out to rule the world!! We
should find him, and then ... what? ... oh? ... really?  Sieve?
 
Never mind.
 
 
- Emily Litella ([log in to unmask])