OK, OK, I give up. It isn't about college hockey, by there isn't enough space on the to:
and cc: lines to forward this to the billions of people who requested it. For your viewing
pleasure, the wit and wisdom of Michael Eisner's marketing department, or
"Corporate Mentality Idiocy - No Known Cure".
 
 
|> Early last month, I wrote a letter to Disney about the Mighty Ducks.
|>
|> Well, folks, I got an answer from Michael Eisner himself in today's
|> post...wouldn't you believe it? Just thought I'd share it with
|> y'all...
|>
|> (First, my letter to him.)
|>
|> ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|> 4 February 1993
|>
|> Mr. Michael Eisner
|> Walt Disney Company
|> 500 S Buena Vista St
|> Burbank, CA 95121-0312
|>
|> Dear Mr. Eisner --
|>
|> As a devoted hockey fan, I am greatly perturbed by your choice for the Anaheim
|> club name, as well as the publicity you have been using.
|>
|> To name a professional hockey team after a movie about a bunch of mediocre kids
|> makes the great and venerable game of hockey look completely foolish. If I
|> were a potential new hockey fan, I would be laughing too hard at a name like
|> "The Mighty Ducks" to actually sit down and watch the game. If I were a player
|> who was drafted to the team, I'd hang up my skates before playing for such a
|> ludicrously-named team.
|>
|> And as far as your commercials go: I realize how successful Disney publicity
|> has been with your theme parks and such, but please, stop! You're turning the
|> NHL into a farce. It looks more like Ice Follies than a serious sport.
|>
|> About starting the tradition of bringing duck calls to games -- in order for
|> things like that to be true traditions, they have to be started by the fans.
|> Rangers fans don't make fun of Denis Potvin because Neil Smith asked us to.
|> It's something that started spontaneously and cannot be mandated.
|>
|> Please, please, please -- choose a serious name for the team, and stop
|> treating it like it's the newest attraction at Epcot Centre. You may be
|> delighting a few little kids, but you're alienating and angering the current
|> hockey fan populace.
|>
|>
|> Yours truly,
|>
|>
|>
|> Ali Lemer.
|> [address deleted]
|>
|> P.S. I've heard that you said that the name has proven quite popular with
|> women and children. Which ones? Your family? I'm female and I can't stand the
|> name, and neither can any of the other female hockey fans that I asked.
|> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|>
|> (Now, Eisner's letter to me.)
|>
|> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|> March 24, 1993
|>
|> Ms. Ali Lemer
|> [address deleted]
|>
|> Dear Ms. Lemer,
|>
|> Judging by the mail I am receiving, everone is excited about The
|> Mighty Ducks. I am glad that you are too.
|>
|> In your letter you raise the issue of names and I want to address it.
|>
|> In a March 3 Los Angeles Times story, Steve Herz, markting director
|> for Athletes & Action, a New York company whose client list includes
|> the U.S. hockey team that won the 1980 Olympic gold medal, says:
|> "Disney is marketing hockey as family entertainment, and it's never
|> been done that way before...They hope to fill the stadium with lots of
|> kids and their parents."
 
( Probably with those little clapping things. I can hardly wait. - ed. )
 
|>
|> We do want to expand the traditional hockey audience. And we think we
|> can best achieve this by bringing all of the fun and entertainment
|> that is Disney to the ice. Tieing [sic] the team name to one of last
|> year's most popular movies is a key move.
|>
|> At the same time, we have our sights set on the Stanley Cup. All of us
|> who are involved in the hockey franchise are competitive by nature. We
|> will put a competitive team on the ice.
|>
|> According to the Times again, Kings head coach Barry Melrose makes a
|> great case for naming the arena The Pond in Anaheim. "That's how all
|> of us in Canada grew up playing hockey, on a frozen pond," he is
|> quoted as saying. "It's traditional. It's Rockwellian." [N.B. He
|> wouldn't by any chance mean Rockwell, author of the forgettable 1980s
|> hit, "Someone's Watching Me", would he? -- Ali.]
|>
|> As you read this, our creative team is devloping logos, colors and
|> mascots for the team. Their mission is to convey hockey as well as
|> Disney. When you see them and, more importantly, when you see the team
|> play, I think you'll be proud to be a Mighty Ducks fan.
|>
|> Thank you for writing.
|>
|> Sincerely,
|>
|>
|> Michael Eisner
|>
|> MDE:jm
|> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|>
|> Well, I think Eisner actually signed it, 'cause the ink smudged under
|> my finger, and there's no "pp" (the initials for "per proxy", what a
|> secretary puts when signing the boss' signature), but I'm really not
|> impressed with a form letter that barely takes into account anything
|> my original letter said.
|>
|> I think my MOTHER probably knows more about hockey than Eisner does
|> (and it took me a good 15 minutes to explain offsides to HER)
|> ...wait'll he wants an expansion team in some other sports, too.
|> The next baseball team will be, of course, the Bad News Bears, and if
|> he gets a football team, well, who knows? He'll think of something
|> aptly atrocious.
|>
|> Did anyone else write to Eisner/Disney and get a form letter back?
|> If so, tell us about it...
|>
|>
|>
|> -- Ali.
|> --
|> Ali Procrastination Lemer || "But not a real green || Are you ILLITERATE?
|> Columbia University (NYC) || dress, that's cruel." || Write for Free Help!
|> [log in to unmask]  || -- Barenaked Ladies   || -- some guy's .sig
|> **** GO RANGERS! **** POTVIN SUCKS! **** "It's a great day for hockey." ****
 
------- End of Forwarded Message
 
Anyway, there you have it folks. (And Rangers fans should thank Dennis Potvin for
bringing decent hockey to their pathetic sewer a few times a year.)
 
 
Greg
Let's Go Red!
(Let's Go Islanders!)